You Can't Cheat Death, Richard​!​!

by The Crooked, Yet Fabulous Onion

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TCYFO + Richard P.J


released December 19, 2016


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The Crooked, Yet Fabulous Onion Australia


~The Spicy people are back in towne!~
- Thee Onion Minister

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Track Name: You Can't Cheat Death, Richard!!
The onion
(the onion?)
The onion
(the onion?)
The onion
(the onion!)
Onion rings
Onion rings
onion rings
(They're mighty good for your health!)

Pickled Onion
(Oh so crisp)
Pickled Onion
(It makes me want to)
Pickled Onion
(eat a large melon)


The onion
The onion
Look inside
The Onion
You'll see
That the onion
(The onion)
Lives inside me
(lives inside me)

Wait a sec, are we talking about onions?
talking about onions?
Lets not talk about onions
Lets talk about the state of the economy

Have you seen the sequel to birth of an ancient?
Have you ever chugged a whole glass of milk in one gulp?
Have you ever checked out a newborn baby to see if its eyes were green?

Have you ever choked yourself on a carrot stick?
Or a.. Peanut?

Just don't make sense!

Hell yeah.
(heall yeah)
Oooooh Yeah.
(you know it)

The onion walked past the large building
and he saw what appeared to be a jar of pickles.
(Hey I'm a jar of pickles)
Peeping from the window
(and I'm peeping from the window)
And when he saw that jar of pickles
He let out an almighty roar
For he had seen the pickles in his dreams
(in his dreams)
His son was not a son at all,
but a very small onion
He could not dance
and he could not fly
he was just a very crippled onion.
He had no legs
and he had no spine
but he could groove
and he could jive
because he was fabulous
and he didn't care what the other onions thought of him
He would dance
and he would prance
as well as any non-crippled onion could.

You know what he said?
(what did he say?)
he said Dad, I can dance
I can groove
I can jive
(holy moly)
Like an onion
Like an onion
Like a very large onion
In the sky
In your mind
In ma mind
In your mind
In your mind
(this doesn't make sense!)

I haven't seen another person in weeks.
I just don't know what's wrong
I haven't seen my own son.
Heelaaa Boy!
I've just about had enough of this bloody onion business.

Look out below
Theres an onion waiting at the bottom of the hill
And theres an onion for you
And theres an onion for me
Theres an onion for just about anybody
Except PETER!
Peter doesn't deserve an onion

He's been to jail three times.
(hell yeah!)
He sits in the back of my mind
He doesn't groove, he doesn't jive
He's just a guy with an onion
In his pant pocket
And he knows
He knows the first three numbers of your telephone
He's gonna come to your door
He's gonna say hello excuse me sir
Would you like to try my onion
It's very good and its very good
It won't give you bunyons
It'll cure your bunyons
It'll give you a sense of relief
Because he is the onion.
The crippled, yet fabulous onion.

I hate living.

Little boy.
This doesn't make sense.
This doesn't make any sense I wonder why
Fuck. Fuck me.

Banana juice
Banana juice in a carton.
Groovy lick man.
Groovy jazz.
And groovy shoes on your feet.
Every day is popcorn day
Every day is popcorn day
But every day is onion day
Every day is onion day

You can't cheat death, RICHARD!

Don't do it.

The mice are here.
And they're nazis
(oooh yeah!)
Guys! So uh.. Pakistan!
Funky India
Funky Germany
Funky Italy
(Hell yeah!!)
Chippy chippy!!
Chippy chippy!!!


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